Leap of Faith

Author: Tamella K White

  • TRADING THE URGENT FOR THE IMPORTANT: Redefining Endurance

    Photo by Volker Thimm

    This has been a season of both ridiculously intense stress and intensely deep growth. Several things have been redefined for me. One of these is the nature of endurance. Until I damaged my knees, I was a distance runner. I preferred running on a circular track. Because I didn’t have to worry about road hazards, I could focus my attention completely on my breath and let my mind and soul take flight. As often as not, my soul would find itself nestled in the arms of my loving Father pouring out my heart to Him. I would run until all the distractions, demands, and worries of life fell away and all that was left was peace.

    Running was a joy-filled encounter with the Jehovah Shalom. It was soulfully cathartic! In many ways distance running is a picture of endurance. Unlike sprinting, which relies on bursts of intense speed over short distances, distance running is about steady continuous movement and what it takes to sustain that movement, ideally without killing the runner. This is the heart of endurance; doing what it takes to keep moving forward without being destroyed in the process. Centering on, resting in, and communing with God is the foundation of that endurance process.

    Photo by Najman Husaini

    We are a world of sprinters these days. Like cockroaches with ADHD, we sprint in darkness from one thing to the next without ceasing, never seeing or experiencing beauty. As a result, diagnoses of PTSD and clinical burn out syndrome are accelerating at an alarming rate. Between the onslaught of personal and global trauma, too many of us find ourselves in a never-ending battle of trying simply to endure one thing after another. We subsist on a diet of distraction. This is slowly starving our souls to death. As an endurance strategy, sprinting isn’t cutting it. We must find ways to endure without losing everything that makes life worth living in the process. But how?!?

    Jesus and the disciples were at the home of Simon the leper. A woman came in and anointed Jesus with a very expensive perfume. Ignoring the loving intimacy of this act of worship, the disciples argue that the perfume should have been sold and the proceeds used for the poor. Jesus’ response is somewhat jarring.  “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a good thing for me. For you will always have the poor with you; but you will not always have me (Matt 26:10-11).”

    Photo by Mareefe

    In reading this challenging passage, one could be tempted to interpret Jesus’ response as callus and uncaring towards the plight of the poor. I believe this is a gross misinterpretation of Jesus’ words. Rather I believe Jesus is alerting us to the difference between the urgent and the important. This is a critical distinction when it comes to endurance. It could be the difference between running the race set before us or allowing our souls to die.

    Anyone who has ever flown on an airplane is familiar with cabin depressurization procedures. When traveling with a child, I put my mask on first and then help the child. Is this because my life is more important than the child’s? Certainly not. The child’s situation is unequivocally urgent. However, it is critically IMPORTANT that I put my mask on first. If I pass out, we BOTH die. It’s the same with the continuous flow of urgent things we face every day. We must attend to the important before we can address the urgent. If we don’t, nothing survives.

    I am learning to identify and prioritize the important over the urgent. I have come to understand that I have to put on my air mask or I won’t survive to resolve anything, no matter how urgent. Like every good runner knows, long distance running requires sufficient oxygen. Jesus is our oxygen. I have to breathe in the Holy Spirit like my life depends on it!  Because here’s the reality, IT DOES!

    Photo by Ingrid Santana

    All of us who are weary and struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and burn out, need to come to Jesus to find rest for our souls! We NEED to be led by the Shepard to green pastures and quiet waters. We absolutely MUST cast our cares on Him who cares for us intimately and passionately. It’s ESSENTIAL that we dwell in the beauty of the presence of Jehova Shalom, the Lord our peace. Our survival hinges on having the kind of intimate relationship with Jesus that causes us to pour out the expensive and limited oil of our time and attention on Him. It’s the only way we will survive long enough to deal with the urgent.

    That doesn’t mean we ignore the situations in our lives and the lives of those around us. We don’t stop caring about the urgent. Rather, focusing on Jesus opens the door for miraculous to happen in our lives. It enables us to deal with the urgent in ways we wouldn’t be able to otherwise. When we trade the urgent for the important, we have the resources to meaningfully and effectively address the urgent. We can run the race that is set before us with endurance. We may even find joy in the running.

    Photo By Luna Lovegood

    And let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking away from all that will distract, focusing our eyes on Jesus, the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity, who for the joy of accomplishing the goal set before Him endured the cross (Heb 12:1-2 AMP)

  • LEAVING ANXIETY BEHIND: Finding peace in the midst of trial

    Photo by Johannes Plenio

    Things in our lives have been relatively quiet for a while. I am allowing myself to embrace the idea that we might be through this season of trial. Not just through, but actually learning to experience the peace that passes all understanding. The path there was not as pretty or as fast as I would have liked it to be.

    The worst part of a season like the one we have come through is the compounding effect of taking hit after hit without time to recover. It reduces your resilience to ashes and it’s fertile ground for anxiety to grow. In fact, somewhere in the middle of this season I developed an anxiety disorder.

    I’m a thinker by nature, so it’s very difficult for me when emotions get in the driver’s seat. A full-blown anxiety disorder let me know that emotions were not only in the driver’s seat, they had taken control of the whole car. They were messing with the signals, knocking the mirrors out of position, and stripping the gears at every opportunity.

    Anxiety fixates you on the things that make you anxious, intensifying everything hundredfold. More times than I would care to admit, anxiety made me afraid to leave our house. It’s extremely hard to be out in public when your emotions and nerves feel like a frayed live wire bouncing around a puddle of water.

    Photo by Mikhail Nilov

    When I did go out, things didn’t always go well. Once at Costco, I burst into tears at the checkout counter. I was utterly and completely mortified. Having to explain to the very concerned checker that I was crying because I have an anxiety disorder and I had reached my limit for being out in public, was almost worse than the anxiety itself. I thought I was seriously broken, like unfixable broken. It terrified me.

    There are a lot of things that are helping to get me through the anxiety of this season. God’s presence in my life; the grace, mercy, and love that He pours abundantly into us, has been my foundation. I have the blessing of my family and the love we share, a good counselor, supportive friends, and a good church. In addition, there are three things that helped me recover that I want to share.

    1) I’m not broken beyond repair. I am wounded and grieving. I have good reason to be grieving. I need to stop fighting it. I need to let grief do the work that God gave us the gift of grief to do. I need to let God heal me.

    The thought that I was broken beyond repair, immobilized me. I have come to realize that, however intense and seemingly out of control the emotions I am experiencing are, they aren’t an indication that I am broken. They are an indication that there are things I need to address. They are legitimate and normal. Realizing this was a massive relief. Understanding that God was using these emotions to heal me was liberating.

    Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi

    2) I must utilize the resources God has given me. Instead of fixating on anxiety, I can fix my eyes on Him. Jesus is always available to help us for however long the storm rages.  Short storm, long storm, it does not matter. He is always in the boat with me. I just need to recognize this and ask for His help. (Matt 8:23-27)

    The single most powerful weapon against anxiety is the Word of God. Instead of fearing the storm, I get to practice taking Him at His word. I get to stand on His promises. He is faithful to keep His promises. He will not let me down and He will not let me drown.

    3) I can turn everyone and everything over to Him.

    It’s incredibly hard to move forward when you are carrying the weight of everything you should have surrendered to God. I don’t have to figure it all out or try to bring it all under control. I can give it to the God who can speak to the storm and calm the waves (Mark 4:35-41). I can cast my cares, concerns, and anxiety on Him. (1 Peter 5:7) I can surrender everything that is creating anxiety in my life to the one who offers to relieve my burden.

    Photo by Tara Winstead

     “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” Matt 11:29-30.

    Anxiety began to leave when I started practicing casting my cares on Him and obeying the command in Phil 4:6-7 to bring everything to Him in prayer. Anxiety is being replaced by the peace that comes from God. A peace, not like the flimsy peace the world gives, that disintegrates at the first round of attacks. But real peace that rebuffs the attacks, peace that passes all understanding, the peace that Jesus promised us in John 14:26-27.

    There are still days where anxiety jumps in the driver’s seat, but they are getting less and less. I am getting better at letting Him take the driver’s seat since I discovered there’s not enough room in the car for anxiety and God. I am beginning to feel tendrils of hope sprouting in my soul again. It’s nice.

    I am coming to understand that the way to survive and even recover from an anxiety disorder is to turn everything over to Him, and learn from Him. I am learning to let Him teach me whatever lessons seasons like this have to teach me, and to keep my eyes fixed on Him. I am learning to receive the peace He gives. I am learning how to leave anxiety behind and embrace life even in the midst of the worst trials.

    Photo by David Alberto Carmona Coto

  • A CORD OF THREE STRANDS: Strengthening Marital Connection

    Photo by Creative Commons Images

    What makes you feel connected to your spouse in stressful times?

    Eccl 4:9-12 talks about the value of having good connections with others. All of life is made better by good connections. Connection provides a better return on labour. It provides support when you fall. It’s warmth when you sleep and added strength and protection in crisis. These verses are especially powerful when applied to marriage. They end with the statement “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Eccl 4:9-12 is a blueprint for surviving stressful times in marriage. 

    The last year and a half Joe and I have lived in a pressure cooker of trial and stress. It has been brutal! We have faced one major issue after another, punctuated by multiple smaller issues, ranging from the highly frustrating to the borderline traumatic. All on a back drop of the continuous 10-12 hour a day stress fest that is my husband’s job. This has unequivocally been the most stressful season of our entire lives.

    Photo by Alpha Trade Zone

    Our daughter was hospitalized with delirium brought on by COVID. Joe was hospitalized for a life threatening sepsis from a spider bite. I had two hospitalizations, including a major surgery to remove a section of my intestines. The resulting medical debt was staggering. Adding to the burden of the medical debt, surgery prohibited me from working for 6 weeks. When our son returned from the Navy, he was dealing with valley of the shadow of death kinds of issues. A dearly loved friend died of cancer. I was unable to attend her funeral because I was in the hospital. Those are just some of the things we faced.

    While none of the issues we faced were directly related to our marriage, the non-stop stress put a significant strain on our relationship. Up to this season, though not problem free, our marriage has been strong, fulfilling, happy and deeply connected. None-the-less, the continuous stress sorely tested our connection. This season has felt like a raging torrent working to undermine the foundation of our relationship. 

    Photo by Timur Weber

    When we realized the extent to which this season was seriously over-taxing our relationship, we intentionally dedicated ourselves to do what it took to fix it. We started marriage counseling. Redoubled our commitment to active listening and loving communication. We made a greater effort to pray together and sought God’s guidance and wisdom in navigating the trials that kept coming our way.

    In addition, we earnestly sought everyday to do little things to enhance positive feelings of connection with each other. These weren’t grand gestures that required a lot of time and prep work. They were simple little things that spoke love and connection to the other person. I texted Joe at work to let him know I was praying for him. Joe kept the dogs quiet on Saturday morning so I could sleep-in. We spent time talking together about all the little and big things in our lives and how the stress affected us. We made a concerted effort to really listen to each other, empathize and support each other. We committed to do something together once a week that we both enjoyed and was just plain fun. 

    Photo by Cottonbros Studio

    The most effective step we took to feel and be connected during this season was grabbing ahold of the center strand of our three fold cord. Marriage is like a well made cord. Cord consists of two or more stands of fiber twined around a center strand and each other. Clinging to and centering our relationship on God  nurtured a strength in our marriage that was able to withstand whatever trial this season threw at us.

    Going to God together to cast our cares on Him and seek His wisdom and guidance allowed God to weave us together around Himself as the central strand of our union. So, like well made cord, our intertwined strands held strong even when stretched well beyond our individual breaking points. Centering on God has strengthened our emotional and marital connection.

    Photo by Caio

    Whether you are blessed to be in a good season or currently going through a season of stress, take some time to discuss what makes you feel connected to your spouse. Share openly the positive things that bond you to each other and make a plan to incorporate those things into your daily/weekly/monthly routines. Most importantly commit to making God the center strand of your marriage cord. There is no greater strength to sustain your connection.

    Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labour for if either of them falls , one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Again if two lie down together, then they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4:9-12

  • KNOW YOUR TRAVELING COMPANION: Redefining Hope

    My first post of 2022 was “Hope for the New Year: Part One.” Part two never came. In fact, it took over a year for me to write again. Last year truly felt like being in a tiny boat in the middle of a raging sea trying to survive one giant wave after another as my skiff filled with water. I felt like all my bailing was just forestalling the inevitable moment when my boat slipped permanently beneath the waves, taking all hope with it. Worse yet, slipping beneath the waves didn’t seem like such a bad idea?!

    After ministering to the crowds, Jesus and the disciples got in their boat and set sail. Storms on the sea of Galilee can come out of nowhere and violently change the calm waters into a roiling tumult. The disciples found themselves in one of these dread-full storms. Many disciples were fishermen by trade and veterans of the sea. Storms were something they faced year in and year out. This must have been a killer storm because they completely melted down. They become so panicked that they woke Jesus up and accused Him of not caring that they were about to die!

    Jesus’ response was “Why are you afraid you men of little faith?” Jesus rebuked the storm and a “perfect peacefulness” came over the sea. The disciple’s response? “What kind of man is this that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” (Matt 8:23-27)

    Why did Jesus call the disciples ‘men of little faith’? Was it because they were afraid? Or was it because they didn’t rebuke the wind and the waves themselves? I dont think so. I think the real reason was because they didn’t turn to or trust Jesus for help in the first place. I can almost hear Jesus saying ‘Guys I was right here in the boat with you. When things got rough, all you had to do was wake me up and ask for help. Instead, you panicked and accused me of not caring. Do you know me at all?’ Whatever Jesus may have been thinking in that moment, it’s pretty clear that the disciples didn’t really know their traveling companion.

    As I have looked over the events of last year, it has occurred to me that the storms weren’t my real problem. Like the disciples, my REAL problem was I didn’t fully know or trust the One with whom I travel. Would I need to be in a state of hypervigilance and panic if I recognized that Jesus is ALWAYS in my boat with me? If I truly understood the magnitude of His power to calm the storm and preserve my life would anxiety have drug me to the depths? If I rested secure in His love for me would the possibility of slipping beneath the waves even be an option? What would my seas look like if I recognized and truly trusted that all I have to do is ask Jesus to speak to the storm?

    Just before He went to the cross, Jesus promised the disciples that though He was going away He would send a comforter, a companion, who would remain with and in us forever (John 14:16-17). On another occasion Jesus promises that He and the Father will make Their dwelling place in us (John 14:23).  God is ALWAYS with us. Regardless of the storms raging around and over us, we need to know Who we are traveling with. We need to trust His presence and ask Him to release His power into our situation.

    Photo by

    Being people of faith doesn’t mean we don’t experience fear in the storms. It sure doesn’t mean we take them on ourselves (see “Redefining Strength: Building on Solid Ground). Being people of faith means getting to KNOW the One we are traveling with on an intimate basis. It means spending time in His presence, drinking in every word that He speaks. It means listening in the depths of our souls for that still small voice. It means recognizing Jesus is ALWAYS in the boat with us. He is ALWAYS willing and able to address the circumstances we are facing. Being people of faith means ASKING FOR HIS HELP and TRUSTING Him to act on our behalf. Knowing our traveling companion is the true foundation of unwavering, unbreakable hope.

  • REDEFINING STRENGTH: Building on Solid Ground

    If you had told me that it would be this long since my last post, I would not have believed you for a millisecond. For me, writing is essential. It’s not just a creative outlet, it’s a deeply important aspect of faith. It enables me to give voice to God’s presence in my life. It allows me to converse with Him and pour my heart out. The fact that I stopped writing for so long speaks to just how devastating last year was. For most of it, all I could was put my head down and try to walk through whatever happened next.

    I wasn’t up to the task. Last year utterly broke me. It shattered me in ways I didn’t think possible! I felt like I was drowning and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Honestly, there were days that drowning was FAR easier than struggling to stay afloat. In January of this year, I was diagnosed with PTSD.

    I am a strong person. I have always counted my strength as an asset. Faith in Christ and my strength in the face of adversity formed the foundation on which I based my life and my hope. Last year made it abundantly clear that, as a foundation for life and hope, MY strength is little more than a self-aggrandizing delusion. Eventually everyone reaches the end of their capacity to withstand the pummeling and they hit the canvas.

    Face down on the canvas, praying that someone would throw in the towel, I was forced to reevaluate everything I thought to be true about myself and the way I operate in faith. The conclusion I came to is that anchoring any part of my life or hope in my own strength is one of the worst forms of hubris imaginable. It’s ludicrous!

    There’s nothing wrong with a positive self-image. It’s just not a good foundation upon which to build your house. Aside from being fragile, our self-image is constantly in flux as we change and grow. That may be fine for the walls in our building, but if our foundation is in constant flux, our walls will never stand. 

    Piece by peice, God is putting my life and soul back together. Part of this process has been spending time studying 2 Corinthians 11 and 12.

    Chapter 11 catalogs the adversity Paul endured in service to Christ.  It’s a morbidly impressive list. Paul got the crap kicked out of him and yet his response was “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that reveal my weakness” (2 Cor 12:5). WOW! Talk about turning my perspective upside down.

    In chapter 12, God makes it clear that human weakness is the channel through which His strength flows.  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is being made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). By boasting in his weakness, Paul allowed the power of Christ to completely enfold him and dwell in him. I like the idea of the power of Christ enfolding and dwelling in me. After all, my strategy up to this point has been a complete failure, so why not! I’ve got nothing to lose.

    Paul’s attitude turns the cultural value of self-sufficiency, and if I am honest, my attitude, completely on its head. Being pleased with my weakness is like living in a foreign country. However, as I have pondered the last year, I have concluded that having my life turned upside down, has given me the correct perspective from which to understand the heart of these chapters.

    I have come to believe that humility and an honest evaluation and acknowledgement of my weakness opens the pathway for God’s strength to manifest perfectly in my life. Operating from human strength is NOT an asset. It is a devastating deterrent! It blocks God from manifesting His power on my behalf. Acknowledging my weakness is the ONLY path to His strength and the ONLY way through adversity to victory.

    Now that I understand that my choice is between my little raindrop of strength and His ocean of power, I will gladly drown in His power every time! If I have to die to self to be present with God, bring on the grave y’all! So, while I never want to go through a season like this EVER again, I am learning to sing the Lords song in a foreign land. I am learning to be;

    “well pleased with weakness, with insults, with distresses, with persecution and with difficulties for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak in human strength, then I am strong; truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength” (2 Cor. 12:10 AMP).  

    I now KNOW, in the depths of my soul, that a foundation based on anything except God’s strength is a false hope that leads to only to death, hell and destruction. If the price of a truly solid foundation is weakness, then let me be as weak as a new born babe!

  • HOPE for the NEW YEAR: Part 1

    For me, 2022 hit like a sucker punch to the gut. By Jan 3rd, my husband, daughter and I all had COVID.  Three weeks later I found myself sitting beside my daughter’s hospital bed praying that she would recover from a COVID induced delirium. Few things are as terrifying a seeing your child incoherent and delusional, lying a hospital bed.  

    This is NOT how I would have chosen to start 2022. Like it or not, this is how it started. Now I have two choices. I can decide that 2022 will be a crappy year and lose myself to fear and depression. OR I can place my hope in the Lord and believe His promises.

    I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord. Plans for good, not to harm you, plans for hope and a future of HOPE (Jer 29:11) All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28) 

    These are my go-to verses when the poop hits the fan. They have carried me through some of the darkest, most heartbreaking seasons of life. They anchor me to a steadfast hope. God has demonstrated over and over again that in EVERY circumstance, He can be fully trusted to work on our behalf!

    Yet, as I watched my precious daughter slip into delirium, my hold on this anchor of hope became as tenuous and fragile as the tether my daughter had on reality. Both began to unravel. I watched her mental faculties deteriorate and I felt utterly helpless and hopeless.  When I left my terrified, delusional daughter at the hospital alone, my heart broke. In utter desperation, I cried out to God. Then I came across Daniel 10:19

    “Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!”  

    The angel of the Lord spoke these words to Daniel after he saw a vision of a mighty warrior coming against Israel. This vision caused overwhelming fear and anxiety in Daniel. “Yet no strength was left in me, for my normal appearance turned to a deathly pale, and I grew faint and weak with fright” (Dan 10:8). I could TOTALLY relate! I was overwhelmed, anxious, and filled with fear.

    I clung desperately to Daniel 10:19. As I repeated it over and over, it reminded me WHY God has good plans for us and why He causes EVERYTHING to work for our good.  It is because we are precious to Him! His love is limitless and extravagant. He defines, embodies, and expresses love perfectly. Amazingly, inexplicably, undeservedly, WE are the objects of His extravagant love! Because we are precious to Him, He has good plans for our future. He is so serious about these plans that He will cause all things to work for their fulfillment. 

    Our lives matter to God! What comfort and HOPE this brings! No matter what happens in this coming year, we can anchor ourselves in this hope! God is ALWAYS faithful! There is no shadow of turning in Him. His word does not fail or come back empty but accomplishes that for which He sent it (Is 55:11). He has GOOD plans for our future, and He will ensure that those plans are fulfilled. Grasp that HOPE with all your might and NEVER let go! Find peace! Be encouraged! Renew your strength! We are precious to Him, therefore we have hope in this new year!

  • Short Circuiting Resistance: Finding Rest for our Souls

    Our 6 month old puppy Rocket, LOVES going wherever we go. However, from the beginning, he has strongly resisted wearing his leash. Once it’s on, he trots off happily to whatever activity we’ve planned. Unfortunately, the initial response is ALWAYS the same. ‘Don’t want it. Don’t want it! DON’T WANT IT!’ In his overzealous puppy brain, he thinks he is capable of being in COMPLETE control of himself. In spite of this delusion, he has come to learn that he will not be allowed to join us unless he has his collar and leash. So he BEGRUDGINGLY allows me to put it on him.

    Rocket could certainly get to the park without his leash. However, a lot of not so good things could happen left to his own devices. He gets distracted and heads off in random directions. He goes into other peoples yards and does unsavory things. He charges full speed down to the path without any thought of cyclists, risking a disastrous collision. He could end up getting separated from us and get lost or taken. Worst of all he could get killed by a passing car. His collar and leash are necessary and loving means of leading, guiding and protecting him.

    As we were going through the daily dance of ‘I don’t want my collar’, it occurred to me that I can be a lot like Rocket when it comes to submitting to God. There are times I accept His lead begrudgingly. I learned long ago that resisting God is a BAD idea. Yet, I still find myself telling God ‘I got this. I’ll let you know when I need help.’ It hadn’t occurred to me that begrudging acceptance of His leadership is a subtle and dangerous form of resistance. The word resist means “to exert force in opposition.” Not a good thing spiritually speaking. Needless to say, when I respond this way I am as delusional as Rocket.

    At it’s best, life tends to get complicated. With all the challenges, it can get burdensome and it’s just plain tiring doing it on my own. Even my best decisions can have unforeseen negative consequences. Try as I might, I just can’t ever see the WHOLE picture. No matter how strong and capable we may be, we aren’t designed to do life on our own. The stupidest part is, trying to is as delusional as Rocket trying to get to the park without his leash. We can do it, but it’s unnecessarily difficult and potentially dangerous. The good news is Jesus offers us an alternative to the difficulty and exhaustion of going it alone.

    “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30.”

    In her devotion “The Life You Long For”, Christy Nockles defines rest as trusting in God. If we truly trust that God loves us and wants the best for us; that He is not only capable, but totally willing to handle ANY circumstance or situation that comes our way; and that He passionately wants to enable us to become our BEST selves, then we can yoke ourselves to him confidently. When we allow ourselves to be yoked to Jesus, we can actually find REST for our weary souls!. For many of us, this pandemic is the longest period of sustained stress we have ever faced and it has been EXHAUSTING. We are in DESPERATE need of REST!

    Willingly, joyfully, submitting to Jesus’ yoke can bring us the thing we need most in any season of life, REST! Jesus is a gentle and humble leader. Therefore we have no fear of exploitation or abuse. He promises to guide and teach us from His vast wellspring of wisdom. I can be at peace no matter what I face. When I have Him walking beside me through the furrows of life, I am assured that I will get where I need to go and experience restoration for my soul along the way. So it’s time to short circuit resistance. Day by day, I need to chose to take Jesus’ yoke, not begrudgingly but with excitement and celebration. Jack Cassidy expresses this perfectly in his song ”Let Go, Let God”. It’s how we find rest for our souls.

  • A MASTERPIECE IN MOTION: Walking in Step with our Shepherd

    A MASTERPIECE IN MOTION: Walking in Step with our Shepherd

    “Yahweh is my best friend and shepherd. I always have more than enough. He offers a resting place for me in His luxurious love. His paths take me to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss. That’s where He restores and revives my life” (Psalm 23:1-3 TPT)

    We recently got a Border Collie puppy. Living with a Border Collie for the first six months is like living with an undisciplined baby Einstein with the worlds worst case of ADHD. On the other hand well trained Border Collies are amazing companions. Border Collies were originally bred to help the shepherd care for sheep. If you have ever seen the working relationship between a shepherd and a well trained border collie, it’s a masterpiece in motion. To be effective, dog and shepherd have to have a deeply connected relationship.

    Proper training for a border collie is important for everyone concerned. The best way to train a puppy, is to do walk-training. To walk-train, you put the puppy on a very short leash and have them walk beside you. If they rush in front, firmly pull on the leash and give them a command to return to their position. This teaches the dog that they are not the one calling the shots. Daily walks are IMPERATIVE.

    The first time I put Rocket’s collar on, he FREAKED OUT. In between his bass on a fishing line temper tantrums, I coaxed him forward one step at a time. Our first “walk” was a whopping 20 feet. Each outing went better. Eventually, he was walking in step with me. The most amazing thing about walk training, is it changed his out-of-control puppy behavior, not just on our walk’s, but EVERYWHERE.

    As I contemplated this training process, it occurred to me that there is a powerful spiritual gem hidden within. We NEED walk-training! We can only become our best selves when we learn to take our cues from our Shepherd. The more attentive and obedient we are, the better our lives work. When we submit to walk-training, EVERY aspect of our lives improves. When we develop a close relationship with Him and look to Him for leadership, we can have a meaningful and abundant life. It is the natural result of walking in step with Him!

    Our Shepherd WANTS to walk with us. This was His desire from the beginning of creation. We will ALWAYS benefit from daily “walk-training”. Through it we develop an intimate relationship of trust with the Lover of our souls. Intimacy with Him restores and revives our lives!

    In this season of chaos, it is even more IMPERATIVE to walk intimately and attentively with our Shepherd every day. His loving, wise and caring guidance are EXACTLY what we need to navigate these difficult times. When we submit to the leadership of our GOOD Shepherd, our lives become a masterpiece in motion.

  • SACRIFICIAL LOVE: A Celebration of Easter

    What is love? For centuries people have sought an answer. Poets have extoled its virtues. Psychologists have studied it. Is it a feeling, an action, a choice to commit regardless of the consequences? Is it a biological imperative driven by chemical reactions? How we answer this question plays a critical role in how we live our lives.

    When I was 20, I made a choice that deeply and directly affected my life, and the lives of three other people and indirectly effected several others. I was single, pregnant and completely on my own. When I discovered that I was pregnant there were two things I knew immediately and unequivocally. I would NOT have an abortion and I had exactly NOTHING to give this child. I couldn’t care for or feed myself on a regular basis, much less a child. In addition, I had a mountain of emotional baggage that made Everest look like a casual climb.

    I prayed for guidance. The answer I got back was adoption. That was the hardest and the easiest choice of my ENTIRE life.  

    It was the hardest choice I have ever made, because even though she was unplanned, she was NOT unloved or unwanted.  There was nothing I wanted MORE in life than a child and a loving, happy family. The further along I got, the more I loved the child that was growing inside me. Feeling her move, discovering her responses to everthing from music to food, forged a bond with her in my heart long before I saw her precious little face for the first time. Letting go of this beautiful, perfect little girl that had shared my body for 9 months, this baby that represented everything I hoped for and so deeply desired out of life, was the single most heartbreaking choice I have ever made.  It wounded me in ways I am still trying to fully understand 36 years later.

    At the same time, it was utterly simple. When they placed her in my arms for the first time, I realized just how profound a task raising this child would be. I would be responsible for every aspect of her care, nurture and development. That realization hit me like the comet that wiped out the dinosaurs. There was NO DOUBT in my mind or soul that I wasn’t up to the task, not even a little bit.  So, I let her go to a couple that could give her all the things I could not. 

    What that taught me is that love, at its core, isn’t about my happiness. Love is other centered not self-centered.  It’s about what is in the best interest of another, especially if that other doesn’t have the power to act on their own behalf. Over the years God has refined this understanding of love. I have come to believe that the essence of love is self-sacrifice. Love doesn’t sacrifice the object of its affection on the altar of personal happiness.  It sacrifices itself for the benefit of that which is loved.

    We are approaching the celebration of Easter, the greatest example of love in all of history. Jesus chose to lay aside His power and divinity and live in the muck and mess of life with us. He was “a man of deep sorrows who was no stranger to suffering and grief” (Isaiah 53:3 TPT). He gave up His personal happiness to bridge the chasm of sin that lay between us and God. He who never sinned, became sin and bore the penalty, so that we could experience reconciliation with God and live in God’s gracious lovingkindness and abundance. He sacrificed Himself to restore the brokenness our sin caused. He did this even though we despised and rejected Him. He sacrificed Himself for the benefit of that which He loved; us. 

    Love is more than a feeling, more than a biological imperative. It is more than an action or a commitment. It is the self-sacrifice of a sinless man hanging from a cross of shame, bearing the consequences of OUR sin so that we could live our best lives, even if it cost Him His own.

    May this Easter season be the beginning of your experience of REAL love. May it be the restoration of whatever wounds you are carrying. May you come to know personally and intimately, the one who gave His life for you and me. Turn to Him. Invite Him into your life. Accept Him as Lord and Savior. If we accept this gift, we will come to understand what REAL love is and it will transform and restore every fiber of our beings now and for eternity.

  • KNOW HIM KNOW HOPE: a 2020-2021 Survival Guide

    “I trust the next chapter because I know the Author.” 

    This simple declaration struck a chord deep within me. 2020 was awful and 2021 seems to be shaping up to be 2020-part duex. Worse yet, the face-to-face, soul-to-soul connections in our lives that give us reasons to celebrate and provide support and comfort when tragedy hits, continue to be curtailed if not eliminated altogether.

    The reality of our current situation doesn’t mean we have to surrender to hopelessness. That is why that phrase resonates so deeply.  It reflects a truth and a promise reiterated over and over in God’s word. Knowing Him means knowing hope.  No matter what has, is or will happen, we can “trust the next chapter” if we know and trust the character and heart of the one writing our story.

    Our Church is reading through the Bible together. Most of the individual stories are old familiar friends. However, there is something very powerful about reading them as a whole.  Instead of separate stories that reflect individual events, these events become chapters in ONE ongoing story. Reading them this way has given me a MUCH deeper understanding and appreciation for the character of God. 

    Take the story of David and Bathsheba. David saw her bathing, lusted after her, brought her to his palace and impregnated her. He tried to cover his sin by bringing her husband Uriah home from war to sleep with her.  Uriah didn’t comply. With the coverup thwarted, David had Uriah killed. Not David’s finest moment! Then the child conceived in this act of adultery died.

    If we stopped there, we may be tempted to believe that God is easily angered, vengeful and wants to punish us for our sin and stupidity. But that isn’t the end of the story. After Uriah’s death and the death of his son, David is hit full force with his sinfulness. To his credit, he doesn’t try to excuse or justify his failure. Instead, he goes to God and pens one of the most heartfelt and sorrowful acknowledgements of sin and plea for forgiveness found in scripture. 

    “For I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me. Against You only have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when you speak Your sentence and faultless in Your judgement. Create in me a clean heart O God and renew an upright and steadfast spirit within me.  Cast me not from your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me” (PS 51:2-3, 10-11).

    David marries Bathsheba. She gives birth to a second son, Solomon.  Solomon was not David’s only or first born son. Yet it is the child of this mess of a relationship that God chooses to place on the throne of all Israel! Why? Because that is the Grace and steadfast loving kindness of our God! 

    David’s marriage to Bathsheba came about as the result of adultery and murder. Yet this was the relationship through which God would produce not only the next and wisest King of Israel, but the great, great, great…grandfather of Jesus Christ! It is through a relationship that started out in unimaginable sin that God eventually brought our Savior into the world!

    God loves, cherishes and wants the best for His children.  He doesn’t overlook our sin. He allows the consequences of our sin to be the teacher that prevents us from destroying our lives, by steering us away from sinning. When we repent, he faithfully forgives and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. He creates a clean heart in us and imparts His Spirit to us. He makes us a new creation in Christ.  God takes the horror and damage that sin wrought in our lives and creates beauty from the ashes. 

    This is a picture of a God who loves us compassionately, steadfastly, loyally and unconditionally. He is a God who doesn’t give up on us no matter how hard we screw up! Our God causes our worst moments to be the catalyst for our greatest triumphs. This is His AMAZING Grace! This is the character of our God!

    If God is willing to bring such glory out of such sin, why wouldn’t He protect, provide for and prosper us physically, emotionally and spiritually in the midst of circumstances not of our own making? In this time when we are left wondering what the next chapter will be, we CAN trust the loving kindness and Grace of the Author. Knowing Him truly means Knowing HOPE!

    Suggested reading: 2 Samuel 11, 12; 1 Kings 2:1-15; Psalm 51